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Repetitive, Redundant, Automatic

Posted on September 21st, 2009

Now that I’m here telling the young to pronounce correctly and write in a particular fashion, I tell myself that I’m only slightly closer to that finish line. I need mountains in the west with a history that only I admire because that’s just the kind of person I am – a subjective-priority-focused-sort-of-girl. Eventually, I will get that feeling once more — that sense of direction and misdirection, the comprehensive skills to say a fucking hello, and a Sanctuary. Even the filling of an empty museum is on my list of things to do. Here things feel temporary, but comfortable like a goddamn bed of nails. I remember being at that upturned house with you and my parents (we’ll both say that you were never a…

Tears are…(silly) Lilly?

Posted on August 24th, 2009

I say to the group, “Tears, tears, teeeeeeeeaaaars. What are tears? Someone tell me?” Eight kids stare plainly back at me. I know this look. They don’t have a clue. I start to pretend to cry and I say, “Crying, crrrrying. Understand?” I wipe my eyes and the kids start laughing and nodding, finally understanding their new word. I think of Lilly. The girl in 3H who sits to my right. In their Cinderella workbook, the kids mark away at their sheets, answering pointless questions about what they would like to dress up as. The group is much younger, full of seven year olds, so their attention span is wavering. I constantly eye each child, making sure they’re focusing on their work instead of…

Tell Me, what about our Seoul?

Posted on August 16th, 2009

The bus drove through, he pointed to the sky, which was crimson through my prescription sunglasses, and he said, “The pollution is so thick today, usually you can see more skyscrapers than that.” There was nothing to disappoint me. I know it’s the second largest city in the world. I know it has Starbucks and Outback Steakhouse, even a 7/11 and Subway. Tell me though, what else? We drink. We borough ourselves into old tales, except I  haven’t heard them before, and sometimes they’ll stop to think, Oh she’s new here, she hasn’t got a clue. Then they’ll stop and ask how long I’ve been here, how long I plan on being here, where I’ve come from, and I realize that if it wasn’t for…

Welcome to the Academy, Teacher

Posted on August 11th, 2009

The crosswalk takes two minutes to turn green, but I’m still afraid of getting pummeled by the taxi drivers, who ignore the road signs like sicknesses. It took three flights of stairs to arrive, but everything is in a circle and the walls are painted with the story of the tree and the boy, where the boy spent every season climbing the tree, picking the leaves from the tree, when finally the tree’s time had come, but they made sure not to paint that on the walls. At first I walked around, rooms are labeled by letter and go from A to H. I’ll be in the G class, my domain, my table with eight chairs, a chalkboard, a CD player for listening to…

The City

Posted on August 9th, 2009

As I listen to Alanis Morissette singing about those events that aren’t really ironic, I am reminded of the 90′s and the Spice Girls, and how Natalie Imbruglia had such enviable hair in Torn. I’ve stuffed my home into three large suitcases, which is comprised of films, books, clothes, and a digital camera which casts an odd red aura over a majority of its pictures. As my boss, Eddie Kim, dragged my bags into my new apartment, he took off his slippers at my door and crammed my suitcase in the corner, telling me that a dresser would be delivered tomorrow, that he was sorry for the delay. He was so particularly sincere about the “inconvenience” though I couldn’t imagine being any less hassled.…