Posts from the “Uncategorized” Category

Slowly Sinking, Wasting

Posted on November 6th, 2012

At one point I think, in everyone’s lives, there comes a series of moments where spending time in a quiet place, like the top of a mountain or within an attic, becomes a priority. My early twenties were like that. I had myself a mediocre pond, which was technically in a park, but I didn’t pay the park much attention. It was always filled with these bouncing children, their loud and giggly mothers, and tamed dogs. I was in between jobs, in between classes, in between interesting people, and I always thought it was very funny how I always felt like there was always something to be “in between.” And at the same time, I’d feel terribly selfish because it wasn’t like I was…

The Luck You’ve Had

Posted on October 30th, 2012

The girl with the purple-feathered devil horns looked at me with these dark-rimmed eyes and pinned her fingers around my wrist. The Monster Mash began to play overhead, and people in masks started to leave our table and collect themselves for the dance. She took a thick pen from her pocket, shifted in her chair towards me, then bit the cap off and held it between her teeth. Turning my hand over, she wrote the message in bold capital letters. I could hear her whisper as she formed the words, almost like she was repeating lyrics to her favorite songs, trying to be telling, trying to sing quietly and looking like a thief. Her eyes were set on my palm and I could see…

Splits

Posted on October 22nd, 2012

I was comfortably alone, but split in two. And sure, you know, I guess there could have been moments of loneliness when I would be staring out the window of a café or a bar and watching all those real people draw trails with their heels; their eager hands would be coupled around another’s waist, and I wondered where they found people like that, people who suddenly made them think they were corner pieces of a ten-piece puzzle. I’d sit on the other side of the glass, looking into the zoo of the world, all the hyenas giggling at each other, their laughs echoing and bulldozing the yellowing or browning leaves across the sidewalk. There would be times when I’d see a person walk…

Go Letter, Go

Posted on October 18th, 2012

When I looked at myself in the mirror the next morning, there were bruises on each side of my face. One circled my left eye, the ring looking dark and awful. Another was splotchy, blotting my right check in these wonderfully shaped polka dots. I started to think more about the boy and how I wished I had more power. I lifted my chin and looked at my neck. Somehow, the scratches were deeper and looked more painful than I remember experiencing and I started to wish that people could cut their nails more often. I didn’t have any make-up, never had the need to invest in any form of concealer, and I wished that I could be more feminine, even just for that…

Playing House

Posted on October 11th, 2012

“When I was younger, I said to myself, ‘If there was ever a house just like this one, in some other part of the world, I wonder if there was a little girl inside who couldn’t seem to leave.’ And it wouldn’t be because she wasn’t able to leave, but it would be because she didn’t want to leave unless she was going somewhere. And I wonder if her and I would get along, I wonder if we would have things to talk about. Perhaps we would only need each other and we wouldn’t worry about what people thought of us. I imagine that girl as being very tall with very long arms and red hair and witching blue eyes.” “Witching?” “Blindingly.” “You read…

Lean

Posted on October 8th, 2012

It was a great bottle – tall and lean. I was feeling this pain, not in my stomach, but in my chest and my mind. It was something like a heartbeat, steady and persistent, but it wasn’t a natural, painless beating; it was a torturous one. It put pressure on my lungs with each breath and a quick, unnatural sting through the edges of my skull down to the bridge of my nose between my heavy eyes. The bottle in my hand could feel it too. I could see the tall clear liquid pulsating as I placed it on the coffee table in front of me. This wasn’t my bottle. This wasn’t my apartment. This was a different realm and I knew I felt…

Lifeless

Posted on October 1st, 2012

I settled into it. There was a divide right down the middle, starting from the base of her neck and leading down towards the indentations at the bottom of her spine. She slept this way, on her stomach with her arms reaching towards the head of the bed, and I hoped that she wouldn’t always sleep this way. It was a dangerous way to sleep. I noticed that her skin had grown darker recently, maybe from the open window, maybe from the spring sun, and maybe from the fact that she always shirtlessly slept. I had seen her back more than a few times, and I adored it, and knew that for the remainder of our time together, she would only show me her…

You Can

Posted on September 18th, 2012

The thickness of the rope wrapped around her wrists reminds her of anacondas or spicy shoelaces. And though destruction happens every day, she must remind herself that specials are not automatic. Smiles are arduously strained each second; bank tellers or McDonald’s employees survive off of grease puffs and sweaty palms. The salty taste on every bill is licked from our fingertips with each burp or fart from the riches. Though delicately is used too often, she had written that word down on every piece of paper she was forced to write. She delicately lights a cigarette. He delicately fingers through his razors. The dog delicately whimpers from its cancer. Light the match and save a forest/trailer park by utilizing population control. Her eyes are magnificent,…

Unafraid

Posted on September 6th, 2012

If I took one of the moons, wrapped it in my fingers, put it in a plastic bag, and stuffed it into my freezer, I’m sure no one would miss it. Except me. I would miss its dark glow and its telling phases. Sometimes, the moon will whisper to me and say things about the people. I dare not stare at the moon too long, but I do see it in their eyes. Sometimes, it’s like a sideways smile and when they turn their heads, I know how they want to play. Other times, it’s half-full, glowing with boredom and labeling mostly everything as unimportant. Then there are the full moon eyes, a light circle spinning in confusion. I take these eyes in, determine…

Lucifugous

Posted on August 31st, 2012

She told me to look at the darkened sky, to see the stars and the clouds and how they inched up upon one another as if they were trying to conceal the other. She’d say, they’re trying to be alone and in plain sight at the same time. I used to admire this habit of hers, her ability to stare at the sky in all its perfect naturalism and adore it. She tried to show me the constellations and teach me something, but I never had an eye for stars. She’d tell me to look at this one, watch how it connected to a centerpiece to form belts. I’d nod and pretend I could see what she saw. And I realized my life was…